I'll make this post short. I just felt I needed to post some of my feelings because of the routes I've been pursuing recently in seeking justice. Today I am feeling extreme frustration and disgust at the idea that there is even such a thing as a statute of limitations for sex crimes. Why? This is putting rape and the sexual abuse of a child in the same category as stealing a car or smoking pot! Who decided that that such disgusting acts of humiliation, domination, and control should be in that category? There is no other crime that creates more damage to an individual than to force them into an intimate sexual act, especially if the individual is a child! The only thing I can compare sex crimes to is murder and there is no statute of limitations for murder!
It is simply incomprehensible to me why it was decided that if enough time passes than a rapist or pedophile can get off scot free. Don't they understand the nature of sexual abuse? Don't they understand that a child has been forced through humilation and fear to keep the abuse silent? Then once we come out from behind that fear and finally feel the courage to speak our horrorific truth, it is too late for the abuser to be punished? Someone explain this to me!
Not only is the statute bad for the victims, it is bad for society! A perverse, sick individual who gets their sexual gratification from touching a child or raping a random woman on the street NEEDS to be locked away! These people are not just magically "cured". In fact, the opposite is usually true. They progressively need to do more and more depraved acts in order to be gratified. They live in a disgusting fantasy world, a perversion, that is almost impossible to overcome. No time limit should keep that kind of person from being imprisoned! We not only need justice for the victim, but we also need to protect the rest of the world from this person.
It seems as though the criminal law in California probably won't prosecute the man who took me for 7 years of my childhood and forced me to do unspeakable things. The man who humilated me, used me, and created debiltating anxiety disorders in me (not to mention the horrorifying memories) may not face any criminial charges.
All I have to say is if my last option is a civil lawsuit, I have no reservations about hauling that pervert into court! I have no reservations about alerting the media of this issue if needs be. I have no more guilt about protecting his children from his acts (that is his problem)! I have no more guilt that he is a prominent business owner and this could be damaging to him (that is his problem)! You reap what you sow, and his sins and crimes of the past cannot just be buried. They are not forgotten. And I do not give up easily.
It is ridiculous. Because often, like you said, it takes years for a victim to sometimes gain the courage to speak out. In this case, time does not heal all wounds.
ReplyDeleteI think justice, however, comes in many forms. You just follow your gut. I really believe that God wouldn't set you on this path if he didnt have some sort of healing waiting for you. And I hope that comes sooner rather than later!~
Hugs to you!~!
it will take people like you who don't give up easily to change the laws. it's really sad that these monsters can get away with it. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteUn.Freaking.Believable.
ReplyDeleteIf only our memories had a statute of limitations, wouldn't that be nice? Unfortunately our laws haven't been update. The archaic, unenlightened way of thinking from when these laws were made needs some serious overhaul.
You go girl - kick butt & take names! We're behind you. I'll add you to the prayer roll.
When I started reading your blog all I could think of was, what about the statute of limitations? But I assumed you had already found a way around it. I'm sorry that another unseen obstacle has appeared; but you can find a way. Many, many more people than you know are rooting for you every painful step of the way. It's a marathon with prizes for all finishers.
ReplyDeleteHeather - Thank you! And I agree. I know I'm supposed to go down this path and I feel that God has something in store for me and a resolution of sorts.
ReplyDeleteLifeisgood - You're right. It's so sad that it takes people going through tragic circumstances to change laws. I just can't believe this one hasn't been changed yet. Makes no sense.
25cents - Love that comment! Thank you! It is really outdated to put sex crimes in the same class as much more petty things. It's pure insanity.
Jenny - I actually did know about the statute of limitations. I've known about it for a long time, but the laws are very complex and there are exceptions based on circumstances. It's really complicated to figure it all out and the only way you know if your case is viable is to actually pursue it with the police. It's a screwed up system and I'm so disgusted with it. Thank you for supporting me! Every comment of support I get helps more than you all know!
I agree with Heather...just keep moving forward, the path you are supposed to take will reach up to meet your feet.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea there was a statute of limitiatins on sex crimes! I agree that it should be on the same par as murder. It is robbing someone of part of their life! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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ReplyDeleteAlyson,...I had no idea of a statues of limitation either. Must have been made by someone who had an agenda...it makes no sense. You know my feelings on this subject and I passionately care about this for you! I heard a quote the other day that said, "Anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die from it." It is so hard on YOU, not the person who did this to you. You can never be compensated or fully punish, for what happened. My only wish for you is to resolve this in the best way you can for you and your family. That's ALL that matters. YOU matter not him, ever. If revenge is what you need then do it. Then go on, live your life and forget him. Otherwise he wins, he has ruined your life and you live with him in your mind every day. Don't let him win...go on and enjoy your life in the fullest way possible and FORGET the b______! Only care about you.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in CA too...and, like Heather, knew that in my case the statute of limitations was up...but thought somehow you were in a different situation. This is a setback and the law a travesty, but you are proof that it doesn't have to be the end of the road. I'm proud of you for finding such fortitude within. He may look like he's getting away with it, may feel like he has, but he will suffer the full measure of his choices before this is over.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you, strong woman! ♥
"A glassblower, through persistence, care, and skill, can convert a few shards of glass into a gleaming thing of beauty. Not a lightweight fragile object, but a well-formed, solid work of art worth saving, collecting and protecting." Redemption, by Stacey Lannert. Your journey is one where you are protecting others--this journey will not only help you heal, but may help society and your extended family as well. Our shame, cover-up, and excusing this behavior is so damaging, that it too must come to an end. Most importantly, remember you are worth saving. The shards of broken glass is forming into a beautiful piece of art. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more on the statute of limitations. It really doesn't make sense, and it's dangerous. I hope you do get to haul his butt into court where it belongs. I'm fully supportive of you in your fight against these crimes and this injustice.
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